Eating Alone While Traveling: How to Feel Confident and Actually Enjoy It
Dining out alone can be one of the biggest hesitations new solo travelers have and can even get the best of veteran solo travelers every now and then.
I have heard people say they won’t travel solo because the fear and hesitation of eating out alone is holding them back. I have heard others say they took the leap into solo travel but only ate take out or from grocery stores because they were too afraid to sit down for a meal solo.
While eating out alone while traveling can feel a bit awkward and overwhelming at first, with a little practice it becomes very natural, enjoyable, and for some even preferable. I have come to love eating out alone (or as I like to say: dining out with myself), and am here to offer all my tips, tricks and personal experience to help you eat out solo with confidence and enjoyment.
Click here to skip directly to my tips for how to dine alone like a confident solo traveler
Dear Diary
I have never been one to shy away from doing things on my own, but one thing that I initially felt awkward about was going out to eat by myself when there isn’t a bar to sit at.
I have gone through the mental gymnastics of
“is it rude to be on my phone?”,
“Is it odd to be reading a book?”
“Am I eating too fast because I am not talking?”
“Am I sitting here too long and taking a table a couple or group could use?”
etc etc.
I have never cared if people look at me (and frankly, very rarely have I ever thought anyone is).
But…
Tonight it happened.
I felt awkward.
I had a whole moment.
I am very confident solo traveler and actually enjoy eating out by myself.
I love a good table for one and have had overall really great and accommodating service dining solo.
I love to sit at a bar, a cute window counter, corner table tucked away a bit, or that perfect two top with a booth against the wall where I can watch people because ether is no one across from me to obstruct my view.
Tonight, after a very long day of work, I made a reservation for one at a place I have been looking forward to trying. Time was tight and I was in a mood, so I didn’t bother with make-up, my hair was … I don’t even know, and my outfit was pretty much jeans and a bathrobe (okay, maxi cardigan, but same thing).
I walked, uphill, then up another hill, up 712 stairs, and another hill (Lisbon is no joke) so by the time I got there I was a mess with a side of mess.
I was greeted by the sweetest waitress and told her it was just me and my name, she smiled and checked the reservations… as she did so, I looked around:
Those cute 2 tops with the bench along the wall? Full.
The cute corner table? Taken.
The other 3 two tops? Occupied.
“Right this way” said the sweet waitress and she lead me to the 4 top right in the MIDDLE of the small dining room.
As she cleared away the 3 other settings, I felt like a bloated clown fish at the aquarium… all eyes on me.
I let myself get the best of me and the self-doubt crept in. I felt awkward and insecure.
Then I looked around: not one person was looking at me. Not one. (Okay, well no one was until I was staring at him… oops.)
I took a deep breath, let the smell of Tikka and curry take me back to my purpose and opened the menu.
A friend gave me a quick “pep talk”
I had a beautiful meal, chatted with the table next to me and shared some local recommendations. I caught up with some friends in a group chat and laughed at texts no one else could see.
In that moment, I thought of all the amazing food I would have missed out on had I let the fear and self-doubt stop me from enjoying my own company.
Here are some tips and tricks to feeling more confident as a solo diner:
💭Shift Your Mindset
This was what really made solo dining enjoyable for me, and something to look forward to.
Instead of just looking at solo dining as a chore: “I am alone and need to feed myself”, I turned it into an occasion: “I get to take myself out to eat” and/or recognizing it is a time to recharge and reset with myself.
Shifting the mindset also includes taking the focus off of anyone else and what we believe they may think of us. After years of solo travel and thousands of solo meals, I can absolutely assure you: no one cares that you are eating out alone.
And if they DO care, it is much more likely they are appreciating you, or a little bit jealous. I have had many people offer a smile and a nod, especially women, when I am dining out alone and once had a women tell me that even though she is married and has kids she takes herself out to eat once a month for time with herself.
💞Romanticize It
Treat solo dining as an occasion, just as you would a date with another person or outing with friends.
At least once in every city I visit, I treat myself to a “date night for one”. I make a reservation, I get a little dressed up, slap on a little make up, and take myself out. It doesn’t need to be a fancy or expensive meal but make it special for yourself.
☕Start Small
Some settings can be much more intimidating than others. A small cafe or diner is the perfect place to get comfortable eating out alone for several reasons: they are casual, you are very likely to see other solo diners, they are arranged to accommodate solos and smalls groups, and the time commitment is short.
Small cafes and restaurants are also great places to read a book, bring your laptop, or even scroll your phone or catch up with friends back home due their casual setting.
If a full-on meal feels intimidating, you can always start with sitting and having a coffee, juice, cocktail, etc and work your way up to a casual meal.
📕Bring a Prop
This seems to be an area of debate amongst solo travelers, but my take and advice is that it is YOUR time and experience, and you can and should do whatever makes you comfortable.
I often bring a book, or am on my phone looking through photos, catching up on the group chat, planning my next few days, etc. As long as it’s not taking away from the server being able to do their job, it is not rude or weird to have a “prop” with you when dining out alone.
This is also a great time to connect with friends or share your experience via texts and photos, so you feel like you have company. I often text a fellow foodie friend photos of amazing meals and describe them to her. I have another friend who is an at-home-mixologist, and I will text him photos of my cocktails and/or an amazing cocktail menu.
Some say it is “rude” to be scrolling on your phone, but if you look around restaurants today, you will see plenty of people sitting together and still on their phones… IJS.
🍸Sit at the Bar
Of course this is optional, and not everyone’s preference, but it is my favorite place to sit in a restaurant for several reasons.
Sitting at the bar allows opportunity to chat with other people, including the bartender, as well as other patrons. The bar is where you will find many other solo diners, as well as friendlier folks who are more likely to engage in conversation. I also personally love watching bartenders make cocktails, so it also gives something to observe without being on my phone or reading a book.
🍽️Advocate For Yourself
While it has never happened to me, and I am pretty laid back, I have heard some solo travelers say they have been given undesirable tables in the back of a restaurant, near a bathroom, without a view, etc or only offered bar seating.
You are just as entitled to a nice table as anyone else. If you feel you are being given the short end of the stick at a restaurant due to being solo, stand up for yourself. Of course, this will come of a bit of practice and confidence but always keep in mind you are just as entitled to a great dining experience as anyone else.
Don’t Take it Personally
Overall, I have had wonderful solo dining experiences while traveling. I would say I have even had better and more attentive service being a solo diner at times. Unfortunately, there are times when bigger tables will appear to be getting better service or attention.
On two occasions, I have been turned away from a restaurant due to being solo: once was a tapas place that claimed their menu was “designed for sharing” (eyeroll), and the other straight up said “We are not the place for one person”. While this can be discouraging, I look at it as they don’t deserve MY business, so I just took it elsewhere.
While this can certainly feel pretty crummy, don’t let it get you down or turn you off from dining out alone. Remember, crappy service also happens when in pairs or groups, but is the exception, not the rule.
Can dining out solo be intimidating? Absolutely.
Should it stop you from taking or enjoying a solo trip? Absolutely not!
Food is such an important part of exploring a discovering a new place and culture and should be thoroughly enjoyed by all travelers, whether they are in a couple, group, or solo. I look back at all the amazing meals I have had around the world, the people that I have met while enjoying them, stunning restaurants I have been in, and cannot imagine missing out on all of that because I let the fear of dining out alone stop me.
With these easy steps, you will build your confidence to eat out alone, and with time just may find that you prefer it!
